| Sunday, February 29th, 2004 |
| 3:11 pm |
...they dont love u like i love u....
...alright so since the whole stupid seizure shit i cant drive until the MRI and EEG say theres nothing wrong with my brain or what not....psh...im perfectly fine... ...later i will be posting the most incredible thing i have ever read in my entire life... ...last night was cool...i went to the movies with whitney...then we watched school of rock and my house...then we ate..and she went home...i thought i wasnt aloud to go out..but turns out i was...so i hung out with denis and paddy for a few hours...then i walked home...i took some long ways...and called people...hah...i like to talk to people when im walking around at 10 30...meh...yeah...i was actually waiting for some people to call me that i was supposed to hang out with....but that never happened so i just came home like the loser i happen to be.....i hope everyone else had a better weekend than i did .... another dr.s appointment tomorrow..yay....guh |
| Friday, February 27th, 2004 |
| 10:22 pm |
peanut butter jelly time
okay...so as many of you have heard..today has been one hell of an emotional day...so yeah...im going to attempt writing about it...ill probably leave some thigns out because since what happpened i cant really remember a lot...like im getting confused..but yea...
I want to thank everyone who came and sat in the waiting room for me at the hospital and saw me...i love you all
-tawny
-kalee
-berta
-sierra
-kurt
-josh
-casey
-codi
-whitney
-sarah
and i think thats it..i also want to thank korina and brandon and kalee and kellie and johnny for coming to see me tonight..and THANK YOU KORINA FOR THE FLOWERS!! theyre effing beautiful and smell amazing...anyhow...
had to put this here :
m Oo K o W 3 3: ur cute as a button!
m Oo K o W 3 3: i reallly cool button like from a vintage shop
m Oo K o W 3 3: thats hand made and crafted wiht love
( ...my wonderfully exciting day of crying and hospital...ahaha )
Current Mood:  exhausted |
| Thursday, February 26th, 2004 |
| 9:49 pm |
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| 9:38 pm |
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| Wednesday, February 25th, 2004 |
| 10:16 pm |
my sister is annoying
tonight was grand....i went to korinas and we hung out and talked to her padre...and we danced in the rain and it was sooo much fun.....im still wet but oh well......i really dont like driving in the rain it scares me.....ehh....
i really dislike the fact that i can be so easily manipulated....its like..i want something so much that i cant even tell that its just a game....i hate that i trust and believe people until they they lie or hurt me...but i forgive..and tell them its okay..and i dont "get mad"....its rediculous....i feel as if people rip my heart out and throw it on the ground...then pick it up, and hand it to me....just to rip it out again....and i dont blame the people..its my own fault that i forgive quick
this is nothing exciting.... ( i have the best mother in the world ) |
| Tuesday, February 24th, 2004 |
| 9:22 pm |
Orly- Thank you for our "talk" today. Everything you said is so true because that's how it is with my friends. I know they're beautiful in their own ways. I completely understand but it's difficult for me to explain my thoughts. I can see it in so many people...it made me think all day and about all the people I truly love and care about. I see their beauty, even though they don't. I can't make this make sense...Anyways I can see it in others, but I just can't see it in myself. But that's how most everyone is...I know because all my friends,including you, don't see their beauty. I think it's because we don't think about what's inside or our personalities...we just care about our reflection...and how we see ourselves...Even though we don't think we're pretty or good enough, people that really know us think we're beautiful because they see what's inside and know our personalities...A good 90% of the few friends i have think they're ugly or don't like themselves, but I can see how beautiful they are and so can the others that care about them. Their personalities draw you towards them and want to be around them because they're awesome, and everything that is inside makes the outside 1000 times more attractive... ps- Basically ,Orly, this was to tell you that what you said to me was really sweet and made me think all day and about my friends...And the whole..."...something about you that makes you beautiful..." is completely true, like I've said, but I just don't see it in me...Maybe there is something about me that makes me beautiful to the people who know me, but i haven't discovered it yet...Someday I will...Anyways..I love all of my friends dearly...All of you are beautiful. ...sorry if this is all weird,but I had something said to me today that was really affective in my life...and I'll never forget it... Current Mood:  alright |
| Monday, February 23rd, 2004 |
| 9:47 pm |
look outside! the sky is beautiful!
im not going to do my normal bitch about my life shit....im so tired of myself..ha.... ...anyways....ive realized how horrible people can be...even more horrible than i already thought... ....i think im going to start spending time looking at the sky..alone because not a lot of people would want to just sit some where and stare at the sky for hours..but thats fine beacuse i can and i will..... ....alright im out.... ps- i wish i were prettier...and im not trying to complain...some people can make me feel so bad about myself really easily....they dont realize it...its things they say...not directly...guh...no one will understand this...anyways...night guys...love u Current Mood:  morose |
| Sunday, February 22nd, 2004 |
| 10:13 pm |
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| 9:43 pm |
heres winter formal..........
 after all the dancing...hott....
 kalees hott date..
 me and mr.kaye on the dance floor yo
 im in love with this picture
 the 2 brandons
 cute mr.kaye
 effing adorable
 stop being gorgeous orly!
 u look naked heehee
me and my date.....how? lol
 brandon
 johnny
 god korina u are beautiful
 seee look at u..wow i look gross..yay
 ..bleh
 i love u
 too cute for words
 hi
 god im glad im disgusting
 aww shes so cute..meaning kalee
....umm i dont knoe what happened to the rest...ill have to post them later....ugh
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| 9:27 pm |
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| 4:52 pm |
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| Friday, February 20th, 2004 |
| 11:33 pm |
sooo many cops,soooo little time.......not
Alright, today was not the best day...i started off in a horrible mood...then it got a little better...but then id be mad or sad again....bleh....any how...so i come home do my chores and sit...i wanted to do something fun tonight...and all signs pointed to BORING NIGHT....but no...kaitlin called and we decided to go out....so heres the high lights of tonight: -went to korinas -thought we were going to go off roading with mr.kaye -got food...or ice cream....on ur face -drove around -waited for the call -deicided to go play -found friends that followed us for a bit=fun -kaitlin driving with her hazard lights on and having the opposite blinker on of which way she was turning -found a new friend to play the game with -raced down alamo -our friend gets puller over -oopppssss.....we feel bad -try to follow friend to appologize after cop leaves -no luck -cruz some more -dance party -hot hot heat and hint hint=amazing -then its over ....but im not at all worried because tomorrow morning is going to be the happiest morning which will make a happy day and that will be the first in a while ....i hope the rest of the weekend holds new and exciting adventures.... ....i really wanted to go off roading....but....didnt really feel welcome...but ohh well....maybe some other time....considering ive never been...well unless you count getting stuck in the mountains with brandon off roading..... .....ahhh....good times.... ps-i started to miss some one a lot tonight...whats with that? Current Mood: calm |
| Thursday, February 19th, 2004 |
| 5:33 pm |
......never want to do that again......
i just went through the scariest fucking thing ever......my heart has never pounded so fast.....thoughts have never raced through my head that quick.....i never ever want to do that again..... ....theres one person i know will understand completely and i hope i can talk to her tonight..... Current Mood:  scared |
| 8:29 am |
doritos and donuts...healthy
...okay....things that have happened lately: -flat tire -no car -got grounded for ...stuff -cops in my house -drama with my brother -getting my plane tickets -dance party in codis car -driving with kaitlin after korinas thing...hanging out the window holding brandon kayes hand...that was so much fun...woooo....sorry for haning out of your window kaitlin....when i get my car back you can hang out my window..k?...k... -might be getting new tires....yay.... -had a mind opening thing -learned how to drive a stick shift -found out things that are wrong with me....greatness.... -discovered that i truly have no need or want to talk to jade...she can basically suck it.... -got over people...thats really good... -figured out i have about 5 friends..if that... -dont really care about anything any more.... -worried way a lot about next year and college .....anything else must not be important if i cant remember it... ....HAPPY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY KORINA.....heart Current Mood:  aggravated |
| Tuesday, February 17th, 2004 |
| 5:07 pm |
love being sick
...okay today i came home sick during 2nd period....i have this constant sickness and no one knows what it is...awesome ey? ....okay so im going to update all the great things that have been happening in my life... ...so okay monday get a flat tire...no more car till i get a new one...which is no time soon.... blahblah...whatever week.... ....then last week was dumb too... ....then friday i get grounded because my dad finds something that i took from another friend so she wouldnt get in trouble..is that amazing or what....its actually just ironic... ....saturday night i go to 7 11 and come home to find 2 police officers in my living room....yep my house is just never ending drama central.... ....i miss so many people...its funny when i think about it...i dont have as many friends as i thought....thats okay....but none of my friends really call me either...maybe im just no fun or too annoying...i can handle that im out of here in a year and a half ....i really love people,but i dont think they know it,or care....but they should know it...so if any of them read this then i love you....alright im getting dizzy now... |
| Sunday, February 8th, 2004 |
| 9:12 pm |
DO NOT read this if ya dont want to hear/see complaining about boys!
....im now mad cuz my computer is being dumb and shut itself down and so my whole post went bye bye... ....so yea...im a little heart hurt..lol...not broken or anything...but ya know whatever doesnt kill me only makes me more aware...seriously..i wish i could erase the last 3 weeks of my life...but hah that doesnt happen...ive done some stupid shit and made some mistakes i guess....i really dont regret it but i just wish it didnt really cause pain...haha..wow....im so done with boys....okay so my whole life ive had this thing where when im with someone and we get really close and the relationship is awesome..i freak and push them away...bad....but the past year ive been working on it...and im getting better...i now can catch myself when i start doing it and convince myself that this time its different..maybe this one wont hit me,or break my heart,or cheat on me....see those are the reasons im scared of boys....i know its no excuse but i get really scared....but like i said its gotten better..mostly thanks to "the moon"...<3....but yea...but uh...now im totally not wanting anything to do with boys...the last boy i thought i really like used me way bad and now hates me....then i liked this one boy and he kissed me and he always does whenever i actually see him..but were just friends because of his reason,which is a good one,but its hurts when he knows how i feel and does that shit...and then...this boy....way randon,never even considered it...it just happened....nothing big at all...but enough for me to get hurt from just because im a dumb girl...i guess i shouldve taken the hint when he basically avoided me for a few days...but anyhow....im okay i guess...but no matter how hard i try i cant stop trusting boys so easily....i think i want a relationship...but then again i just want to have fun and be a teenager,not a slut,lol......okay well im done bitching..sorry to anyone who actually reads this.... ps-i was totally looking forward to valentines day...but hey its just going to be the same as every other year...alone....yay.... |
| Saturday, February 7th, 2004 |
| 4:57 pm |
..i love whitney...
fallxbackxlove: im hungry' heartofthemater: go eat something anorexic fallxbackxlove: im at rinas and i dont like eating other ppls food heartofthemater: then dont eat it... just stare at it and act like you are fallxbackxlove: lol heartofthemater: that way youll feel full even though you didnt eat fallxbackxlove: i like that heartofthemater: ehh fallxbackxlove: lol (im on korinas sn incase u didnt get that) |
| 2:45 pm |
attitude
...so i found a check from xmas and caled an auto parts store and got a new water pump and some glue stuff and some other thing...my dads fixing it right now...awesome now ill have my car...but nothing to do....wutev ill just drive around and waste gas! awesome... ...the only thing that has made me laugh today...or even crack a smile is this: my dad and i driving to the auto parts store: me:"dad...what te ell is on top of that car?" dad:"its a hat...for nissan auto parts or something..." me:"dad....i want one...." dad:"...i can picture you..in the middle of the night...with a crow bar trying to steal it..." we both laugh... |
| 11:20 am |
....so the show was amazing...it was fucking awesome.... ....then later....drama fucking central... ...the 2 people i wanted to talk to wouldnt really talk to me...thats okay though...i dont blame them ...last night i cryed so hard...harder than ive cried in so long...i hate crying... ....i need my car to work again....its my only escape.... ....last night was fucking rediculous...i new i shouldnt have gone where i did...i knew that it was going to be all drama..why dont i listen to myself? ....hmm...3 hours of sleep...yay!... ....mkay,done bitching....have a good day! Current Mood: exhausted |
| Friday, February 6th, 2004 |
| 4:45 pm |
fuck
.............uuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggg ggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...i want to scream so bad right now....im so fucking angry and i should be happy cuz tonight is going to fucking rock..i hope.... ....... |
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dollrstordouche's journal
ewww
hott
sexy mamazz
helllooo
ganstas
why are u so hott?
wow i have a lot of pics of u 2
i love u guys
.....
try not to look so happy guys....jk